Infinitely

A Year’s Worth

You gave, slain in sighs
Bluest whispers in the sunshine
Carry me down, uncanny words 
Reminders of broken walls
Walk through them, 
In faithless times
Shadows in your eyes

What I couldn’t see
Was what I tried to hold
Blinded by the sunset 
-In retrospect
Listening to the birds
Inside my walls

What if there were two moons,
One in the sky
The other, I saw 
When I was swimming
In between the waves
Captured in raindrops

Thousands- little lights

Unaware, all sideways
To be proven, first lose
A composition to taste
Well worn words
On the tip of your tongue
I believed it
-Even before you said it

Believe you

To find an unabridged version of the truth through someone’s eyes nears on 
the brink of impossible, because we all see but hardly anybody really sees
and the easier thing to do is to remember it your own way as you close
your eyes in the dark.
As we swim in the unconsciousness we are reminded of our immediate
fears and watch familiar nightmares unfold methodically, relentlessly.
With the truth so easily altered and varied by a mere thing called perception,
what are we to trust and what are we to believe? She looks at you with
soft butterfly eyes and you tell her your feelings are true, truer than 
facts because emotion is purely existent from an intrinsic source. Its 
realness and magnitude, you tell her, is unquestionable, but you see
the doubt in her eyes and you want to break down the gate of tears
of the past and make her see the exquisite truth you are offering her.
If you could undo her gaze and tangle yourself up in its strands,
you would, but you see her questions, her pains and you hold her
hand and hold her close.
You long to be her truth and save her from her doubts; make her
see, one day, why you’re still there. 

Maybe the residue of unrepeated yesterdays haunt me to sleep
and before I know it, the light of the sun retreats into a changing horizon
Or maybe, it’s your whispers from a decade ago, in its candid sincerity
reverberating through my memory that I’d long washed away.
You didn’t want me to come with you, so I pretended not to know you
and made you cry and so I laughed in your face, not out loud, but
you knew. We stopped speaking and that’s when I knew, how much
I would miss your voice and your touch.
Scattered in the ashes, alongside the river that flows incessantly and
ever without pause, the echoes of your presence pinch my nerves
in my dreams. In the morning, I awake, limping and sometimes
breathless. To catch myself in the mirror in fear of being spurned,
so I reflect my darkest moments when the sun is the brightest, just so
I would be half blinded and incapable of understanding anything
less than the truth. 

Intermittency, this is a word,
A counterargument to all else that
You may utter from those lips,
Because I’d hate to see your tears
But I have already made you cry and
Apologies are your weakness
So nothing beats the rain
Like the rooftops over the cities,
And despite all the things I say,
You still go out without your umbrella
Or sometimes without shoes and
My thoughts flutter to the wayside
As you walk on the sidewalk
Next to me holding my hand.

When It Rains

A Continuum kind of morning
Ground and roasting, wafting through the air
I almost wish I believed in gravity
So I could hit the ground, like the droplets,
Splashing all of my life into puddles

But I’ve forgotten how it works
I tremble at the cold and shake in the draft
I’ve shed my old self at the cost of this one
Withdrawing from the remnants of days
Left far behind, lost in time.

Nature binds me to witness its tears
Reminding me of the sadness I left behind
In search of everlasting sunshine
And abandoned the feeling of falling
But now I know why, it rains.

There was an outbreak of sanity
In the greatest cities on earth
And chaos reigned the grounds
For what seemed like an eternity
It was only two days, three nights
Shameless, we all were,
In the truth we found ourselves in.

Will you shadow my regrets and resist my temptations?
Grasp my hair and pull be back into your chest,
Remind me of yesterday because it slips from my mind
More easily than my fingers sliding down the glass.
If you could unleash the demons inside my vice,
Free my castle of lies, mistakes and faults
Push me down, into the floor and shake me
Until I’ve forgotten my own name and only know yours
When the moon pushes the stars into the dark
And echoes of our thoughts collide and crash
Like midnight waves, bigger and louder than those
Under the sun

These are the deflections of a leaning heart
Astray in the desires of understanding and losing oneself,
We have become fond of forgetting and things we must let go of.
Every breath that crosses my thoughts is drawn from the depths
Of the tomorrows that await between us, strumming my heartstrings,
Leaving little pieces of shadow inside my mind
Burning, flickering my memory at the edges until I can’t tell apart
Dream from memory, wishes from nightmares.

In this magic hour
I need a bit of you
Sunrise feels a too far away
But I’ll slip under my covers
And close my eyes

Hasten the hands of time and
Wake up to your good morning

I still hear echoes
Feel your shadow on me 
Dream a little while
Forget about you and me

It’ll be the best thing to remember
When I open my eyes 

The window sill, it’s my haven and my escape
It’s my way out, it’s wide enough to sit on
I can lean against the window, test the strength of the screen
I can open the window, taller than me
I can unlatch it, and there, my escape
Right in front of me

How easy it would be to step off the edge
To test, to challenge the logic of physics
Play with fire, sometimes better known as gravity
I am laughing inside
The ground is not far away enough
I need greater heights so I can breathe better

I can dream about escape forever
But how do I make it so I won’t have to escape?
How do I make it so a fall is not a fall from grace?
I don’t want to escape. I don’t want to fall.
I just want wings, that’s just all.  

In instances in which my heart trembles
Which could be any given moment
In between breaths and even during blinks
I am caught in currents unseen to the both of us

If I were to float away tonight
On carriages made out of cut out pieces
Of the sky above us, scattered with fragments
Fragments of dreamers and stars

If I were to disappear tonight, just like that,
Would you remember how I looked
Not the way I looked, but how I looked
How I looked at you? 

I began to trace my footprints in the sand
In search of a place I had seen in a wish
Your voice echoes inside my mind but fades in the wind
I whispered stories in your ears and they became ours
We entwined our fingers and the following days
Together we lived among our dreams known as reality 

For all of those with timid souls and giant hearts
I bid you welcome, hello and good bye
Sell your fears to the devil and free your past
There’s nothing better to be done than to give
Tomorrow’s dawning sooner than we let go of yesterday
So it comes and we go, on to the next one