December 2010
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I hate it when my iPhone fails syncing. And then I have to restore if from a back up. And I lose a month worth of texts and everything like that. Great. I can’t read over the sweet things you’ve texted me in the past months and smile before I go to sleep. Sigh.
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Twenty-Eleven
I don’t know what it is about it turning a new year. I feel like I’m cleansing myself from everything before, turning a brand new page of my life. This year I turn 18. I graduate high school and go to college. It’s a whole new chapter of my life. I’m pretty excited. I’m feeling bubbly, optimistic and hopeful. I’m ready to take on whatever’s thrown at me.
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I'm not going to wish for you to be a better year,...
So get ready.
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Herein lies the question
Do I reach out?
Or do I wait until you do?
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My parents are having company over…And I’m going to be stuck babysitting four little kids all of varying degrees of cute annoyingness. Definitely more annoying than cute. Great.
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The World's Exhaustion and Burdens
And so the misery of this world
The exhaustion and burdens
The tears and the angst
The fears and the longing
The hurt and the pain
After each and every day
At night
There is a place where all of that is filed away
Like a library, neatly arranged, in a precise order
Shelved away
And the rows and rows of shelves continue endlessly
Farther than the eyes can see
Each day it grows
On and...
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Cross the Line
If we journey past the horizon, past the line that defines the sky from the ground
If we take a step past that moment where we know where we stand
From the point that we know into the unknown
The other side, what will we find?
Just a mirror of ourselves, the same thing that lies on this side, or something infinitely more?
Will we lose everything that we hold in our hands, in our arms?
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Can you feel me calling out to you inside my head?
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Dear followers,
I’ve amassed quite a few of you and some of you pretty recently too. I don’t know why you are following me, or how you found my tumblr, but I love that all of you are there.
Thank you for following, whether it’s just for no reason at all or because you enjoy my posts. I’m just letting everyone know though, that I don’t post for my followers. I post my thoughts, what...
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Mother, mother
You bore me into this world and for that I am thankful beyond measure, for I love this world, I cherish it and could not ask for anything more than what I have. It’s a magnificent, fantastic, incredible, astounding world that I have the honor of living in.
But mother, mother. You delight in giving me pain. With your words, with your hands. You strike me down into nothingness. You numb me...
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Past It All
Beyond the movement of this world, there is more
And that is why I remain curious every day
Because I wonder what is, what was, what will be
And not just within the air of this world
I am curious to see not just within, but without
Beyond the reaches of this world, of our imaginations and of our creations
What lies there?
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Breakdown
She was tearing down the walls that had held them apart.
Beyond her touch, through the barrier, she could feel his jagged heartbeat
Straining to join each other now
Uncontrollable need to belong to each other now
With swift strokes, he smote the walls down.
Now they stand, in front of each other- more bare, more exposed than they had ever been before.
In their most vulnerable states
But...
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We are just
A cluster of thoughts
A convergence of minds and opinions
A convolution of nothingness and everything
And that makes our existence
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Cross the Line
If we journey past the horizon, past the line that defines the sky from the ground
If we take a step past that moment where we know where we stand
From the point that we know into the unknown
The other side, what will we find?
Just a mirror of ourselves, the same thing that lies on this side, or something infinitely more?
Will we lose everything that we hold in our hands, in our arms?
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Unspoken
There’s so much that the eyes can convey.
So much emotion, and so many more words than the spoken ones.
Looking into your eyes, I see all that you’re trying to say.
The things that you don’t understand how to say, the words you don’t know, the thoughts you haven’t formed yet. The feelings you want to tell me but don’t know how. What you see, what you need;...
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“I am who they couldn’t even dare to be,
So that’s all folks.”
– Nicki Minaj (Sweet Dreams Remix ft. Nicki Minaj, Lil Wayne)
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Day 4: The worst day.
No, not for me these ain’t.
I’m sure I’ve had bad days- well I know for sure I did. But you know, they’ve passed and I’m still alive and breathing. I’m here, today and I’m content. So…those bad days couldn’t have been that bad.
Worst- being the superlative of bad…I guess I didn’t have one this year. I don’t know if...
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Don’t Stop The Music - Jamie Cullum
Jazzy,...
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A Change in Time
So time slipped by and in happiness I realized
That sometimes pain, hurt, and sorrow were my muses
Without them, my thoughts saw no reason to delve
Without them, my words saw no reason to align themselves in order
No reason to lament, to despair
Now my feet stay me to the ground, but my thoughts fly up
These will be new kinds of words
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I’d forgotten to love you, for all the wrong reasons.
And now I see my mistakes.
The good thing is, I realized them in time. It’s not too late.
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Day 3: The best day
Hell, I don’t know. There’s been 365 days and you want me to choose one? That’s not going to cut with me. Can’t choose just one, I’ve had many best days. Clearly, ‘best’, being a superlative, is defined as one subject that has the most ‘good’. However, I don’t care.
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Hello blizzard,
After I wake up tomorrow and it’s a winter wonderland, I’ll scream in joy and run around the house. Then I’m going to pretend to revert back to being five years old and make a snowman and a snow angel. Then I’ll come inside freezing and warm my toes on the radiator while sipping on some hot chocolate.
After that?
I’m ready for spring.
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Day 2: Relationship(s).
I almost decided not to do it today because I’m a lazy bum. But I said I’d try, and it’s only the second day.
Relationship(s). Okay, well, I got one and it’s like none other. We’re special together, you came home after so long and told me how that’s the one thing you realized was. That you’d never find anything quite like us, two people that fit together...
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He kisses me. Oh so gently, on the top of my head.
He watches me, so carefully, so softly- making sure he doesn’t lose me in the crowds, doesn’t lose me from his sight, from his life.
He guides me, his hands ever so lightly on the small of my back, on the back of my waist, making sure his touch is on me even as we weave through the sea of people- the streets of New York City.
He holds me close, not impulsively, but with thoughtful...
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He kisses me. Oh so gently, on the top of my head.
He watches me, so carefully, so softly- making sure he doesn’t lose me in the crowds, doesn’t lose me from his sight, from his life.
He guides me, his hands ever so lightly on the small of my back, on the back of my waist, making sure his touch is on me even as we weave through the sea of people- the streets of New York City.
He holds me close, not impulsively, but with thoughtful...
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Day 1: A few things you will never forget in 2010
Hmm, it’s been a long and a short year, hasn’t it? I was a junior in high school, now a senior and I’m ready for college. I guess this is going to concentrate a lot on you because you were such a huge part of my year.
I remember junior formal and how I brought you even though you don’t go to my school and you blew everyone away with your amazing break dancing and...
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2010 reflection challenge.
Day 1: A few things you will never forget in 2010. Day 2: Relationship(s). Day 3: The best day. Day 4: The worst day. Day 5: The most memorable moment. Day 6: Your best friend(s). Day 7: Your birthday. Day 8: The funnest getaway. Day 9: The end of last school year/the beginning of this one. Day 10: New Year resolutions.
My goal is to actually do these because I NEVER do them because...
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Come on now
I know you’re supposed to take life slow, so you don’t miss the small things that make it worthwhile.
But right now, I’m feeling too restless. I can’t sit still. I need to keep moving. Life is too slow for me right now.
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You
Give me wondrous hope Hope like you have never encountered The kind of hope that’ll light me up From the depths of my mind From the confines of my heart
I throw my anchor away Cast myself away For you, I give everything
So now Give me hope like never before Hold me as you would hold hope I see you smile I hear your voice, your laugh For me
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The happiness you're giving me
Is making me nervous.
I’m so afraid to let myself actually feel it.
I’m watching it come closer and closer- more cautiously than ever.
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Maybe it’s just the festive spirit that’s finally entered the air around me, but I’m feeling happy and it’s making me smile.
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I don’t know what it means, but it’s making me feel crazy good.
I don’t know if I should be, but why not let it happen. Why not?
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“Listen to the MUSTN’Ts, child.
Listen to the DON’Ts
Listen to the...”
– Shel Silverstein
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